John Ralph has arranged a Coffee Morning in memory of his wife Pauline. Please see the poster on the home page. He also wrote an article on Pauline's life for the Chronicle
West Hoathly Local History Archive
The following reminiscences of my wife Pauline are not truly local history. However I thought it appropriate to include them in this series of articles which I started in 2009 since Pauline has greatly supported me in their preparation, has contributed some of them herself and has proof read and edited all of them. She was also a founder member of the Local History Group in 1983 well before I started the Archive in 2008.
It is also fitting that Pauline was ninety and this is number 90 in the series.
Pauline Ralph March 25th 1934 – February 11th 2025
Pauline was born in Morley near Leeds in Yorkshire the daughter of Edith and Roland Rushforth of New Bank Street. Roland was a printer at the Morley Observer newspaper and Edith worked in local woollen mills and also as a nursing home assistant.
She went to Peel Street School and then to Batley Grammar School where she was deputy head girl and also became quite an accomplished pianist. In 1953 she went to Bedford College in Regents Park in London to do a BSc in mathematics and graduated in 1956.
Pauline lived initially at a student’s hotel in Bayswater in London called The Cambourne in Leinster Square and I also went there in 1954. We were aware of each other for some time before starting to go out together in 1955 and marrying in Morley on February 16th 1957.
We lived in Tooting from 1957 to 1959 while I completed my PhD at Kings College. Pauline worked for the Bristol Aircraft Company and the British Iron and Steel Research Association in London from 1956 to 1959. I obtained a research fellowship at the Mellon Institute in Pittsburgh and we sailed from Southampton on the Maasdam on the October 9th 1959 and were very sea sick most of the way. We returned more peacefully in 1961 on the Queen Elizabeth so that our first son Geoffrey who was born in January 1962 would be English. We bought a house in Hainault while I returned to work at King’s College. Our second son Michael was born in October 1963 and in 1964 I moved to Philips Research Laboratory in Salfords in Surrey. After a while living with my parents in Wembley we eventually bought Grange Cottage in Crawley Down. Our daughter Nancy was born in September 1966 and we adopted her when she was six weeks old.
In 1982 we bought Upper Pendent in West Hoathly part of which was an antique shop. We continued to sell antiques with Pauline combining the shop with part time teaching from 1982 to 1990. She enjoyed our buying tours around the country when we got to know many interesting antique lovers both as customers and traders.
After being a full time mother and housewife Pauline taught mathematics mostly to sixth formers at Imberhorne School from 1973 to 1994. She was always very active in local Women’s Institutes and was the president of the Crawley Down branch. She is remembered for playing Jerusalem on the piano at the start of meetings and for organising outings including to the Proms. She went on a Denman College course to learn Cordon Bleu cooking which was much appreciated by the family. In Sharpthorne WI she served as treasurer for a while. She enjoyed sport and played tennis in Crawley Down and at Escots Club at East Court in East Grinstead and badminton at West Hoathly, Crawley Down, Balcombe and East Grinstead Sports Centre.
She started bell ringing at Saint Margaret’s church in West Hoathly in 1982, rang at many local churches including Turners Hill, Balcombe and Slaugham and also went on several bell ringing tours. We learnt to play bridge in America and Pauline enjoyed playing in a local group. She has always been closely associated with the church next door to our house as bell ringer, attendee and “locker upper” and in recent years we have spent many hours just sitting in the churchyard and enjoying the view from the Furse view point. In 1983 Pauline joined with Sheila Allen, Kay Coutin and Rita des Forges to form the West Hoathly Local History Group and she was its treasurer for many years. She was always to be seen at the annual Local History Archive Exhibitions selling books and raffle tickets. She also worked for Meals on Wheels and for the Red Cross visiting elderly people after hospitalisation.
We both enjoyed travel and Pauline helped to organise a number of coach tours for friends and work associates. We saw most of the US while living there and on return visits including our longest expedition in 1960 when we camped for five and a half weeks on a 12,500 mile grand tour from coast to coast.
Pauline was very good at knitting and embroidery. She helped embroider the altar cloth for Crawley Down Church and also joined a quilting group in Crawley Down. She knitted many things for the family and for the Sierra Leone Mission which helps needy children in Africa. She won numerous certificates and prizes at WI and other shows and our house is full of her corn dollies and tapestries and she also learnt glove making. She loved jumble sales and enjoyed collecting pretty rather than valuable china. Pauline was very fond of wild flowers and sometimes recalled walks with her mother picking them “down Daisy Hill” in Morley when she was a little girl and she was always looking out for them when we were walking. She greatly enjoyed our wildflower meadow where amongst the many species including orchids, violets, campion, betony and grass vetchling were her favourites agrimony and scabious.
Pauline and I had both become interested in early traditional jazz while at school so we spent much time around London jazz clubs and pubs as students on our first dates. We also both liked the amazing musicians and singers who developed from the jazz world such as Billy Holliday, Frank Sinatra, Ella Fitzgerald, Nat King Cole, Sarah Vaughan and many others. We have a big collection of their recordings which we played frequently so that their words and music have woven themselves into our life together.
Pauline was a true Yorkshire lass from a true Yorkshire family. She was always quiet and unassuming but with an underlying strength and confidence about what was right and what was wrong. She was a very private person who disliked any form of ostentation but had a very warm heart and was always ready and willing to help anyone in need.
We have both been very fortunate to live a very comfortable and trouble free life together for nearly 68 years with our developing family of three children and seven grandchildren. Recently Parkinson’s disease severely limited Pauline’s activity but she seldom complained. Pneumonia just before Christmas 2024 followed by a bad fall at home was too much for her to take and after a gradual decline she died peacefully and painlessly in Princess Royal Hospital on February 11th 2025 with many of the family around her.
Pauline remains with us all in our hearts and minds.
I will take this opportunity to thank all the lovely people who have sent cards and letters or have stopped for a chat.
John